What I Learned My First Week of School...

Some days I think of my blog in my head and have every intention of posting it that same day.  Well, I have started back to work and it is all consuming and I was just going to sit here and gush about how much I love my new job, it is stressful at times, but I love the people I work with and I love my students.  But, then life happened and it made me rethink things. Isn't it funny how God knows what you need and when you need it.  For the first of the week  (Monday - Wednesday) I have been bringing home a few things to work on every night.  I am a workaholic and I know this.  I have constantly told myself that I need to leave work at work and I have even had multiple conversations with multiple people in the past 2 weeks about the importance of this, but I am hard headed.

Anyway, after leaving work at 5:45 (I technically get off at 4) on Wednesday I told Wes I would do better and not bring anything home.  So, Thursday I left work at work, didn't even bring my calendar home, and thought it would all be good.  However, God had something different in mind. 

Wednesday night T woke up and wasn't feeling well. Being the child of a doctor I called Dad and had him listen to T over the phone (at 1AM). We did what we could that night and that morning he said he was feeling better.  So, he went to school. Well, school called Wes that afternoon and Wes went and got him.  Thankfully, Wes got in with our pediatrician that day and I just knew it would all be fine.  Well, I should know better.  T is my TE Fistula child, my child that when he is down, he is D-O-W-N. It isn't a simple cold and he is all better. In fact, this child does not even slow down for a cold.  T tends to be a go big or go home kind of child - in regards to illness. Another unfortunate trend is the track record Wes holds when taking T to the doctor. If T has to go with his father for anything other than shots, we are typically in for a week/weekend full of illness.  This was no exception.  I got the call I always get when Wes takes T for a sick visit...we are going to be admitted to the hospital.

I BURST into tears. He is my baby. Now, when T was born and had surgery I went to some weird place. I am not sure if every Mom of a NICU baby does this or not - it is like a survival mode. My feelings are there, but I am not in touch with them. Now that T is better in regards to his life-threatening illness, I don't go there anymore. I just feel for him. I can't hide it, he is my baby.  In my head I am going, "hasn't he been through enough? make me sick...anything, just not my kids".  Well, I go get Addison, run home, let the dogs out, pack a bag for T and me, try to remember what I need (despite my poor second born, amazingly patient child crying downstairs because it is time for her to eat and get ready for bed - why she does this at 5:30, IDK).  I call my mother-in-law and arrange for her to watch Addison so I can get to the hospital.

T has the croupe with a stridor - I am still not sure I completely understand it, but it doesn't matter, by baby is sick.  I get to the hospital in time for him to get an IV, have another breathing treatment, and cry.  For those of you who don't understand how croupe is treated, you are exhausted (as with any illness) but all the medicine to treat it hypes you up. So, T gets a breathing treatment, gets hyper for an hour and a half, sleeps for about an hour and gets another treatment. It was a LONG night.  I was up pretty much all of it (so excuse the constant use of parantheses and grammatical errors) and that would be the night I bring nothing home. Yep, that thought crosses my head and that is what led to this blog.

Why does it take something this big to make me realize it. It doesn't matter what is going on (good, bad, or ugly) I need to separate from work. My kids are growing up, getting sick, finding feet, and changing daily and I am too busy to notice. Why? What is so much more important than them? Not have a stack of stuff to do on my desk? I will never catch up. There will always be something else. I get why some people work late - like my Mom - I know if my sister and I were still young, it would be different, but it is easy to explain to my 61 year old father that she will be late because she wants to catch up.  I complain about Wes working so many hours then I get a job and do the same thing - when contractually I don't have to. Yes, some nights I will, but not every night - I don't need to bring work home. I need to be home when I am home. If I consume my life with my students, I miss some pretty amazing things at home.

So, to Wes, sorry I have been hypocritical. To T and Addi (if you ever read this) I apologize for not giving you my full attention - the attention you deserve this week. To my amazing co-workers, thank you for picking up my slack as I miss the first Friday of my first week of school - ya'll are great and I owe you one, but I do not need to stay past 4 (unnecessarily) to make it up and ya'll don't expect me to. To my parents/in-laws/aunt, thank you for the help you gave us these past two days (and I am sure this weekend) Wes and I are doing the best we know and we could not do it all without you.  So, Sara, the School Counselor, I am glad you love your career and you want to do well, but if you don't do well for yourself and your family - you will not be the best school counselor to your students.

This, this huge lesson (that I have to put into practice) is what I learned this week. PLUS, don't write an email while you are on the phone - I did and sent it to the wrong people...oops!

"Great-Pop"

Trenton and Addison are truly blessed to be able to have their great-grandmother here with them and Trenton has really grown to have a special bond with "Granny".  I was not fortunate enough to know all of my grandparents, I knew none of my great-grands, but I was able to remember my Mom's parents. Unfortunately, my Dad's parents passed away before I was 5 months old, so while his Mom (Granny Cree) was around, I do not remember her (something that truly hurts because from what I understand, I have her laugh). 

Anyway,  Trenton and his best buddy (Granny) are great friends! Trenton will ask to go see her regularly and we try to see her weekly.  When we go over to her house, naturally, Granny has pictures of her late husband, my Pop (who passed away in 2000).  Trenton always would ask about him and I want him to know his "Great Pop", so we would answer any questions, but most of the time they were as simple as "who that?". 

Recently, Trenton has become more inquistive.  When we leave our house, we drive by my Dad's old office and I told Trenton that his "Great Pop" built that for his Sir.  Well, apparently T has been listenting (to conversations I don't remember) and/or making his own deductions.  T is obsessed with building/construction/back hoes so it could me the latter. 

For the past few days, this has been our conversations:
T: My Great Pop made that.
M: yes, he did.
T: My Great Pop like to be outside.
M: Yes. (I don't remember telling him that)
T: My Great Pop like to build.
M: What did he build?
T: Sir's old office.
T: My Great Pop would be my buddy. He love me.
M: fighting back tears, yes he would.
M: Your Great Pop was also a Marine, a Drill Sargenant.
T: A Rine? Drill Gent?
M: Yes, he loved to play with back hoes too. You could have helped him when he worked outside.
T: My Great Pop is just like me!

So, Granny and I are going to do our best to make sure that T gets to know his Great Pop. Great Pop did have a construction business, he was a Marine, he did like to garden, and most days he would be outside from sun up to sun down.  I am sad that T does not get to know more of his great-grandparents (both my side and Wes's) but I am going to try my hardest (and Wes) to make sure he knows that they are with him.

Rise & Shine

I have been tremendously fortunate to have 2 children who like to go to bed early. Addison (almost 5 months) tends to come home from daycare around 4:45, eat her last 7 oz bottle around 5:45 and she is down for the count. So, by 6 Addison is asleep and she sleeps til 6:45AM if not later.  Trenton was very similar at that age and we truly did not do anything magic to make this happen - it just did.  Well, I am now seeing the bad side of having children who go to bed early - his name is Trenton.

Trenton gets to the point where he will put himself to bed. It could be 6:45 and Wes and I are trying to keep him up until 7 and he will tell us it is time to take a nap and go upstairs.  Recently, he has been staying up til 7 or 730 - sometimes even 8! Well, no matter what time we put him down, that precious, loud child is up early! The beginning of this week I was at a loss. One day Trenton would wake up at 5:00, then next 5:30, while not ideal, Wes is up around 545 every day, so this was manageable.  Let me explain what happens when T wakes up.  He sleeps with his door shut (2 dogs = endless noise).  When he wakes up he yells for me. "Mommy!" Precious, right? Not 3 seconds later, "MMMOOOMMMMMYYYYY" (louder).  Typically, Addison hears this and just goes back to sleep.  Tuesday, Tuesday was bad.  Tuesday "Mommy!" I was not even up, but Wes goes and gets him and throws him in our bed.  Normally, we sit there for a little bit before we head downstairs for breakfast (luxury of summers off), but I look at my clock 3:45AM! What!?! Trenton is ready to play and read a book and then rattles off what he wants for breakfast.  Um, it is time to sleep.  I try many things - showing him it is still dark, so we need to be asleep, ignoring him, nothing works.  Then, it gets a little more frustrating. 

When Wes puts T in the bed, Wes still lies just as though T isn't there, so I am sharing a side of the queen bed with my 2.5 year old.  Normally, this would be precious, but this morning he decided he wanted to hit me with his bear, kick me, tell me that he needs covers, then, the thing that pushed me over the edge, he started playing in my ear! I got up, walked to his room and hid underneath his comforter.  Next thing T comes in "Mommy, where are you?" He finds me.  Thankfully he goes back to our room, Wes puts him on the bed and I get about 30 minutes of uninterrupted sleep. 

That day, Nona came over after her hair cut and helped me with the 2 of them.  She had a talk with Trenton, I had a talk with Trenton, Trenton's teacher had a talk with him, and something clicked! Naturally, the next morning 6:45 rolls around and he is still asleep.  Unfortunately, this was the day I had to be someone at 8.  I had dropped something in the bathroom earlier, but I just finish getting ready and go get T.  I open his door and he goes, "Mommy, you are loud". HA! Isn't he precious.

This morning, T was up around 6:30 and did yell for me, something we are working on, but (and I hope this is just a one night thing) he woke up at 1:00AM crying (bad dream?). He gets in our bed and the game starts again - kicking, playing in ears (this time his Daddy's) and finally Wes takes him back to his room and he goes back to sleep. 

So, while many people are constantly asking how I get my kids to go to bed so early - it isn't always the best thing.  Our next step, buy Trenton a digital clock and make a sign so he can match the numbers and know when it is acceptable to yell for Mommy. :)