Certainty

This post will be a little morbid, but it is the reality of life. With life, there is death.

Recently, I have encountered a lot of death - be it people I knew personally that passed or people who I know lose a loved one. Now, I am not sure if death is easier when the person is older, but Wes and I have recently had friends lose a newborn and then another friend lose a grandmother. Does that make it any easier? I know that when a person is older, you may be more aware of the finality of life, but still, it is a loss of a loved one.

This got me thinking and talking (to my Mom) about death. Now, I know that everyone will die. I usually don't think about it a lot, but recently I have been. In the past few weeks there have been at least 3 deaths (they say it happens in 3's), but from December to January there have been a lot. On top of all that, I watch "How I Met Your Mother" and it was talking about death.

Do I want to know that my family member is dying? One of my friends recently lost her father and they knew he was dying. Does that make death any easier? I mean, doctors can be wrong, they may give your relative a month to live and 2 years later, they pass away. Or it could be the opposite. I know that when I lose a relative I want it to be peaceful, but do I want to know this could be the last conversation I will ever have with this person. That is a lot of pressure to put on a conversation. I know they say not to go to bed angry because nobody is promised tomorrow (plus it isn't healthy) but really, what is the point of being angry at all?

So, that is what has been on my mind. Would you like to know? Would you like to script your last conversation with your loved one? What would you say? I am at a loss.

Type "A"

In my new position, I am constantly picked on for being too Type "A". I don't have to have things certain ways, but sometimes I just find it easier to do it my way. For instance, I am in charge of the vault and I like things certain ways, so don't bother it. When it comes to how things are done in my station, don't bother it. I was raised to be efficient and organized, and many times I am more mature than my older counterparts, so leave my type A alone.

I have started to realize though that I am on the tail-end of my time with First Bank. Contrary to being told I am valuable, I am not valuable enough to keep on part time from August-December, so I am out looking for a part time job. Like my "type A" self, I am starting early, putting out feelers, and getting the job done.

I thought I was Type A until I met a lady the other day that actually takes the time to organize the notes her children send home in page protectors based on their importance. Not only that, she categorizes her canned goods - to save time when cooking. I am curious, just how do you have so many canned goods that you get lost when looking for something? I don't feel as though I waste a lot of time on hunting down a canned good. She also makes sure her spices do not cause a headache by alphabetizing them. Her children also follow this regimine and they do not eat the last morsel of food without adding it to the list. Well, that one is good, but really, what boy would do that? She also stressed the importance of having your children sort their laundry. Well, Wes doesn't do that, so how will Trenton?

Disney World

I don't know if many people know this about me, but I HATE Disney World. Well, let me rephrase that, I hated Disney World in 1988 when we went. Now, let me elaborate even more, I think my Father is the reason I hate Disney World. (love you, Dad)

When I was a little girl, I was impressionable, like every other little girl. Anything my Dad thought, I thought. Well, Dad hates Disney World - crowds, lines, hot, loud, expensive - these are not my Dad's favorite adjectives. I am still not a fan of crowds, lines, hot, or expensive, but now that I have a child I have had a change of heart. Something that I would normally assign to a g'parent, friend, sister, someone other than me, Wes and I will do - take Trenton to Disney World. Not this year, it is our poor year, but sometime. Plus, 14 months isn't the age I would want to take.

What brings me to all of this is Wes is going out of town on Wednesday. He is going to a meeting for Sherwin Williams in Disney World. He came back year LOVING it. He likes to ride rollercoasters, I do not. I will ride the ones Trenton will be able to ride, but that is it. So, Wednesday Wes leaves us until SATURDAY! Trenton and I will be okay, we will have friends and family to help, but what I look forward to most (even more than taking Trenton to Disney World) is when we pick Wes up from the airport and the face Trenton will make when he sees his Daddy for the first time in a week. That, my friends, not Disney World, is the greatest place to be on EARTH!

Back to school...

Today is my first official day back on the ASU campus. I am excited because it is getting closer to OVER, but I am dreading it because this class is 16 weeks. Now, I know 16 weeks isn't that long, but I also have an 8 week online class, as well as this "promotion" at work which allows me NO time to do anything, so I am apprehensive. I am also apprehensive because this puts me closer to the time Wes and I truly start our "poor year". We are calling this year that because I start my practicum in August and can only work part time (anybody know of any part time jobs with really flexible schedules?) then in January my internship starts and I can't work at all. OOPSIE! So, we are giving it all to God and trusting in Him that we will be okay. We have already started cutting costs and trying to save for things. I just have to remind myself that it will all be okay.

I am taking an online class for 8 weeks and it is probably the most time consuming class of my Graduate program. Legitimately, this class has discussions, assignments, and bi-weekly evaluations. Now, normally that wouldn't be a lot, but our first assignment requires me to look up 4 research articles and write an abstract for them...really? They already have an abstract. So, I am working on that in my "down" time while I also deal with my other responsibilities.

So, tonight my 16 week class begins. The great thing is instead of the normal 5-9, it is only 5-7:45. :) So, please continue to pray that I will find a part time job (it doesn't look like FB is going to keep me around) and that I find a job post graduation. It will all be okay.

That is a Pretty Blouse

Here is my morning at daycare:

Sara: "Morning!"
Daycare Worker: "Morning!" Just put Trenton at the table.
***while I put Trenton in the chair***
Daycare Worker: "Are you pregnant?"
Me: "NO!"
Daycare Worker: "That is a pretty blouse".

That is not acceptable. I have come up with these responses with the help of friends,

"No, I just gained a lot of holiday weight"
"No, I am just naturally glowing like this"
"No, but apparently I am missing a good opportunity."

I love my life.

Trenton's First Christmas

Trenton with MeMe and Pop.
Aunt Keely reading to Trenton

Trenton in his rocking chair that he got from his Great-Grandmother

Wes helping Trenton open his presents

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Baxter loves his presents too!

Trenton and I walking down the stairs Christmas morning!

Trenton with the toy that Ansley and Adam gave him.

Friday night at Church...before the drama..

Trenton and Santa Claus!

We had a weekend full of Christmas fun...and drama.

Thursday night - Christmas Eve Eve

We got together with Wes's family to do an extended family Christmas. Well, they chose the chop house - which is located at the Mall - but we made it. We found a parking place, we made it to the restaurant and we waited. Eventually everyone showed up, but by that time, Trenton was over it. Keep in mind we didn't meet until 6 and Trenton goes to bed at 6. So, Trenton and I roamed around the outside of the Mall and looked around while the rest of the family talked and ate. See, I am not a fan of taking children to a more adult appropriate restaurant. So, I was hesitant going into this. We loaded in the car and were supposed to go to Aunt Julia's house, but we didn't make it, our child was CRANKY and finally asleep.

Friday night - Christmas Eve

I mistakenly signed up our family to read for the lighting of the Advent Candle at Church. I have a problem with things playing out a whole lot better in my head. See, we got to church only to realize that we were next to last in the program. Church started at 9, Trenton goes to bed at 6. Sometimes I can keep him up and occupied, but this was not one of those nights. I spent most of the night in the Narthex of the Church helping Dad to calm down Trenton. Trenton and I went outside, but no, he could still be heard. Wes and I lit the candle and we ran out of Church. The preacher even told me that the baby in the manger routine was a nice added bonus....OOPSIE!

Saturday - Christmas Morning

Apparently keeping your child up, when he doesn't truly understand what Christmas is, makes him sleep until 7:30. Well, normally, I would have enjoyed this time, but Wes and I had to get Granny and get to Mom's for breakfast! We got Trenton up, let him open presents, changed his clothes and headed out. Christmas was filled with family, food, and fun...pictures to follow. Trenton racked up!

Sunday - Day after Christmas

Ellis Family Christmas. I got up and went shopping early that morning - to find some prety pitiful sales, but I ran into my Mom and sister. Ran home, picked up Wes and Trenton and headed to Golden Corral. Those of you who know me, know I am not a huge buffet eater, but my child was starving! He didn't eat dinner the night before and hadn't had breakfast. I truly believe he ate more than I did. We went to Steve and MJ's to open presents and then had to play Apples to Apples while Trenton slept.

We had a good Christmas and look forward to next year when Trenton will be even more entertaining!

Moving On Up...

to the toddler room!

I have the silly, first time Mom, mixed emotions about Trneton moving up. Keep reading and I will explain why my reservations as well as all about my crazy Friday!

Friday I worked. Well, this was my first Friday at my new branch, working alone. It was C-R-A-Z-Y! As my Manger put it, welcome to interstate travel. :) I worked at another bank and it was busy all the time, then I worked with First Bank at Main Office where it was sometimes steady, but manageable. Now, I am down on Walton Way and I am BUSTING it. I am glad to be busy, but I would rather have time to breathe on Friday between 4 and 6. Friday, that was not an option. So, I survived the day - minor hissy fit at the end - only to find out that the water mane in front of our house busted. Cool...Trenton can ice skate. :) Well, I get home and the thing that pushes me over the edge (you can judge me) is the fact that I was driving down the one way I can of my street, I see the men working, the orange cones, and I put on my blinker to show the men I am turning into my drive way. I am traveling about 3 mph, but this man is FREAKING out. I mean waving his flashlight, jumping, waving his hands, freaking out. It reminded me of a scene out of and Austin Powers movie. I turned and the man could finally breathe, but I just had to laugh which turned into tears. I was done. I was exhausted, I didn't have water, and I just had been introduced to First Bank interstate travel. Well, I go in and Wes just laughs at me (and comforts me) and shows me what Trenton came home with....an accident report.

My precious baby boy is sleeping peacefully, but at 9AM on Friday morning, while visiting the toddler room, Trenton busted his lip. Now, I understand it is not life or death, he was fine, and he more than likely did it to himself, but they didn't call me. I could not run and comfort my baby, I couldn't fix it. Now, Trenton has been through surgery, procedure, been poked and prodded, but for some reason, his busted lip sends me over the edge. I guess because all the other procedures and hospitalizations were to save his life. I could have prevented this, right? No, not really. I know he is fine, but it hurt my heart. I should just be glad we haven't had stitches. By this point in life, Wes had been to the hospital with a busted chin (i think twice). So, I get over that too.

Saturday we get up and go to the Radiothon to raise money for MCG. We have so much fun and we become Miracle Makers! :) I was glad to be able to help raise money for the amazing staff at MCG - they are the ones who saved Trenton's life. After the radiothon, we hit the ground running to get all the Christmas shopping done. The mall isn't busy in the morning, so Wes and I just get as much done as possible. My parents invite us over for chicken noodle soup and birthday cake, so we eat lunch and then leave Trenton with Sir. Wes takes off to do his Christmas shopping for me and Mom and I hit the ground running to finish up my few things. Everyone is tired, but we get home and get ready for Sunday.

Sunday, Trenton is SICK. I go in to get him in the morning and he has those crusted eyes, runny nose, and just cannot breathe. I decide we are not leaving the house. Trenton lounges all afternoon in his jammies. He won't eat, he sleeps all the time. He wakes up just long enough for his MeMe and Pop to visit, then sleeps from 3:30PM to 645 AM! I went in through the night to make sure he is breathing. This morning, he is still sick, but I take him to school - no fever, so I can.

We get to our new room and I am sad. I miss my teachers from infant class. The teachers haven't made him a cubby, they haven't gotten anything ready for him, so I just leave his stuff on the table. I apparently am the only Mom who brings a snack for their child, but I just take it to the fridge. I leave Trenton playing on the floor, but I tell them to call for anything. I leave the room and go back to the infant class. Begging them to check on him. I know Trenton will be fine, but I just have some reservations....he did bust his lip in this room, this room is smaller, and he doesn't have a cubby. I am such a dramatic mother and I realize this and get over it.

So, I am happy for Trenton to finally be crawling - the right way - and he can pull himself up, but do I really have to change the classroom? I will have to put on my big girl pants, and deal, but it was one dramatic weekend at the Ellis house!