But, just like any sinner, my faith is constantly tested. What is bringing all of this about is Trenton's surgery. Now, I know he will be fine and the doctors at MCG have not let us down yet, but as a Mom (at least my experience) there is not a limit to the amount you worry. I know I am supposed to be anxious for nothing, but this is at least the 7th time my child has been put to sleep. That is almost a time for every month of life...that is stressful. Trenton has been through a lot and as a mother you can't help but wonder if you could have done something different. It was luck of the draw (ha!) was born with a TE Fistula. The dilatations had to happen, the breathing tests had to happen, every surgery has not been frivolous.
Wednesday Trenton will have another surgery. This one on his kidney. I know it is needed. My child has already lost 5% functionality in his kidney, but there is still a tinge of "is this really necessary?" "hasn't my child been through enough?" However, it is not my place to decide when enough is enough. God has looked out for my child from day 1 and he will continue to look out for Trenton.
Trenton is surrounded by prayer not only from family and friends, but even those people who have not met him. In fact, during my maternity leave my Mom went to lunch and people she didn't know recognized her as Trenton's grandmother and asked about him. All of this is amazing and overwhelming. How do I give back for such generosity? Everyone tells me to call if I need anything and I am the most stubborn person, so I never do. Thankfully, I have never really needed anything - just a healthy, happy baby.
What brought all this about this particular morning was Trenton's MASSIVE hissy fit he threw. He went to sleep early last night and slept through a meal. Well, he was not having his diaper changed before he ate, so he started kicking his legs and screaming and all I could do was laugh. Does that make me a bad mom? Yes, I am encouraging bad behavior, but it made him stop. He just looked at me with that red face and laughed too. That moment I realized just how much I love this child and would LOVE to take all of the troubles away. Trenton didn't do anything to deserve any of this, but I will never understand why he had to go through everything.
Wes and I have learned a lot and been challenged, but the challenges are no where near over. All we can do is humble ourselves to our situation and pray. So, thank you to the many people who have embraced my child like their own. He is an amazing, precious gift and I cannot imagine my life without him.
We ask again for your prayer and support as Trenton undergoes what will hopefully be his last procedure. Surgery is Wednesday - I don't yet know the time - but it lasts 4 hours, so we will keep you posted. Please be patient though, my sister is very pregnant and naturally has her own child to take care of - it is still hard work when you are pregnant - so she may not be as able to update the blog. 
PS - he is trying to start to crawl! :)Thank you all for your prayers - The Ellis Family
As long as I am not in labor, I will gladly and faithfully update the blog!
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