Dear Mr. Telemarketer,

Honestly, I was in a somewhat nice mood yesterday, so when you (annoyingly) called my cell phone for the 5th time, I answered; however, you ruined my mood for yourself and others.

Here is how our conversation went...
Sara: "hello." (water running in the background)
Telemarketer: "Sara?"

**My thoughts...are we that close that you can call me Sara? I didn't think we were...STRIKE 1! **

Telemarketer: "Sara, I was calling because Hilton has some great deals on trips to Orlando, FL and Las Vegas, NV. When was the last time you went to either?"
Sara: (sarcasm in the voice) "Well, Orlando, 1988 and did particularly enjoy it. Vegas, I was 12, stood against the wall while my parents played slot machines (rarely) and realized (from the ads that kept getting shoved in my father's hands) what a stripper was for the first time. "
Telemarketer: "Oh, so you haven't been in a while?"

***Is that what I said, I don't remember that. I think I was trying to get you to go away...I guess your script doesn't have a response for sarcasm...STRIKE 2 ***

Sara: (Trenton SCREAMING in the background) "Can you call me back, my child is hungry and I have to go feed him"
Telemarketer: "Oh, I wish I could but this is the last day of the promotion."

*** I'm sorry, really, that is what you are going to tell my screaming child. Let's see, Trenton, Mommy is sorry, but this man is making his living by annoying me and I am trying to be polite and listen, so you just suck on your hand a little longer..maybe it will produce some kind of food...STRIKE 3 ***

Sara: "Well, I hate to be rude, but I am going to be (if you are honest, that makes it okay - it is like bless your heart)...my child takes precedence over your ridiculous promotion and actually, you are looking for my parents, not me. I don't have a Hilton card, so you are going to really be disappointed that I wasted your time. Also, your promotion can go to HECK (not the real word I said) and you should really be mindful of how you treat your customers...on that note, I am going to let you go and your D*** promotion. "
As I hang up, Telemarketer: "I am sorry to hear that you are missing out on this...."

***Devastated I hung up because I would have LOVED to have the last word...Trenton wins again! ***

Thanks for calling Hilton Rewards, I will pass the information on to my parents. They will be SO excited you called.

Love,
Sara